sick

so, although i do not have insurance, glenn and i decided yesterday that, whatever the cost, i have to get better. i woke up again with a crazy fever and body aches. i cried. i just knew i couldn't go through any more of this. so we went to durango urgent care. i was told that i have not only h1n1, but also pneumonia! ugh. he told me to continue with the rest, fluids, cough syrup, etc. and gave me an antibiotic. all told, it was only about $180. well worth it if i actually do get better. i honestly do not remember what it feels like to be well. i have been sick since my return from austin. 3 solid weeks. my entire life has stopped. we are living in this strange little bubble.

now that hazel is starting to seem a bit better and i am not so scared for her, and june still miraculously hasn't gotten it, i can allow myself to grieve for the fact that i've scarcely had any time at all out in my studio for this entire month. i closed my etsy shop for the month, envisioning blissful hours out in my studio, unimpeded by etsy orders and packaging and time spent on the computer. however, that has not been the case. i am so sad. for a while, i was having crazy, fever-ish visions of pieces i needed to make once i was well. i did sketch plenty of new ideas. but i can't get out there to make anything! it's killing me.

however, on the bright side, had i not closed my shop and this sickness had come, it would have been unbearable. so this has just been a time for us to hunker down and nourish ourselves and do what we need to do to get well. and, now that we've all had the dreaded flu, at least we can't get it again. though we can continue to hope that june doesn't get it. i like to think that she has been exposed to it enought that she's developed her own immunities to it without having to go through it, but i don't know how that all works. anyway, eat lots of garlic and emergen-c, appreciate your health, and stay well!!!