be free

so just as you were about to decide to stop coming here to my beloved blog because i am such a debbie downer and you were just feeling depressed whenever you stopped by, i have words of hope! i am finally feeling a bit better. yesterday, i "took the day off" from "work". i allowed myself to finish a very therapeutic piece that i have been working on and then i went over to durango for a hike. (i also got some additional color added to my tattoo. i will show it to you once everything has healed up.)

this is the "be free" necklace,

with amethyst, rubellite tourmaline, and sea foam chalcedony

i have recently experienced pain and betrayal the likes of which i never would have believed possible. it has forced me to make some very difficult decisions and i am dealing with some serious loss right now. it has really torn me apart.

for me, the luna moth symbolizes transformation, naturally, but also soaring through the darkness. they fly at night, they embrace the blackness. and, for their brief passionate lives, they thrive.

the petals on the flower spin around, and the arm that it rests on swings back and forth.

this piece is about growing up out of the darkness, about persevering and coming out on top, altered, yes, but bigger and better and stronger. (the chain has tourmaline, aquamarine, amethyst, moonstone, labradorite, and prehnite beads wire-wrapped into it.)

the five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. i have not gone through all of those yet. (i've sort of been stuck in the depression stage, don't you think?) but i have a plan. this is my process, my stages. be true. forgive. release. believe. be free. i think if i can work through those, i can get out of this depressive state. and i am doing my very best. i am trying to take care of myself. i am writing about it and i am really processing.

this piece is quite heavy, with multiple layers of sterling sheet. it has a wonderful presence. it will be in the shop tonight.

my hike was wonderful. i went to an old favorite spot. i did a lot of thinking and realizing.

i will be okay.

p.s. this song that's playing right now, falling slowly, has been playing a lot for me lately. all of their songs actually, have been really helpful to me. i am very excited because they will be at coachella, as the swell season. usually the music that i love is not "popular" music, but in this case it is.