Wednesday, February 15, 2012

three wishes, a phantom limb, and the plunge

i have (again) been having a really hard time lately. i have been struggling with loss and acceptance, betrayal and confusion. it's when i am feeling like this that it is good for me to make pieces that are pieced together like a puzzle, to take disparate parts and bring them together into a whole. the sense of completion is very therapeutic for me. so this week i made these:

the phantom limb ring,
with fully faceted rainbow moonstone and kyanite

i know that i have never actually explained what has been happening over the last year that has been so difficult for me. and i can't really tell you now either. but what i can tell you is that i am missing somebody, somebody who was extremely close to me, in a way i could never explain.

surely you know of the phantom limb phenomena? where a person loses a limb and they can still feel it, an ache or an itch. it's a bit cliche', but that is how i am feeling about this person. something happens and i immediately want to tell her about it. i have a thought and i instantly think about what she would say in response. something reminds me of her and i find myself reaching for my phone to call her before remembering that i cannot call her anymore, that she is gone to me. she is no longer a part of my life. and i realize it over and over again and it hurts just as much every time.

this ring is about that. the moonstone, which is both there and not there, represents that phantom limb. that thing that is gone but not gone. and the kyanite is what remains, what is above the surface, what is real, what carries you through.

just as an amputee knows that that limb is never coming back, and it is still very real to them, i know that i can never again have the relationship with her that i once had. but i will never stop feeling it, and i will never stop loving her.

we have finally had some beautiful snow here.
in an attempt at cheering myself up, i went for a ski with glenn yesterday. (he just happened to have taken a personal day to ski and was delighted with all of the new snow.)

olive had a blast, even though the snow was deeper than she is tall.

seeing glenn skiing on up ahead of me into the snow with no track before him made me think of conor oberst's song at the bottom of everything... "into the caverns of tomorrow with just our flashlights and our love, we must plunge we must plunge we must plunge..." (i am so lucky to have him.) so i made this when i got home:

the plunge necklace
with fully faceted labradorite

incidentally, it is conor oberst's birthday today.

the three wishes ring
with faceted labradorite, ruby, and faceted moonstone

you know the story. the great, big, all powerful, genie appears to you after you rub the lamp, offering you three wishes, anything you want. so what would yours be? what would be the three things you would wish for in all the world? this ring is to represent those wishes, whatever they may be. it is to remind you of the three things you want most in the world, even if they are things you already have.

(i can't say for sure that that is a star ruby, but it sure looks like it here.)

and i guess the really important question is, what will you do about those three wishes if the genie doesn't show up?

i hope you all had a wonderful, love-filled valentine's day yesterday. (glenn took me on a surprise romantic overnight trip to ouray last weekend, heavenly.)

i am heading over to the etsy shop now to list these pieces.


Lisa-Maladylis said...

I know exactly what your speaking about. I have that feeling often, specially when I loose a friend for no reason other than something stupid happened or they stop speaking to me for a unknown reason. I had one like that just lately. I lent her tons of money, was her shoulder to cry on, drove her to work many many times (she worked a hour away) and then when she moved, I hugged her good bye and she never spoke to me again. I hoped I was more than a money bag and chauffeur to her ! I had to delete her from my facebook page because it hurt too much to see her there when she wouldn't talk to me. I hope that time heals because it really hurts to loose friends or anything else like that. ((((hugs))))

Anonymous said...

These are gorgeous pieces, and so meaningful. The rings in particular really speak to me.

Tracy said...

Gorgeous pieces as always my dear. And an inspiring and thought-provoking post as well. I do envy you the skills to take your grief, inspiration, love and life and render them into truely inspiried wearable works of art! I do not know how you can let them go, release them into the world!

Silver Sparrow Designs said...

thanks, ladies!

and, tracy, it is indeed sometimes very difficult to let them go... like the three wishes ring for example... i am thinking i will have to keep that one...