i have (again) been having a really hard time lately. i have been struggling with loss and acceptance, betrayal and confusion. it's when i am feeling like this that it is good for me to make pieces that are pieced together like a puzzle, to take disparate parts and bring them together into a whole. the sense of completion is very therapeutic for me. so this week i made these:
the phantom limb ring,
with fully faceted rainbow moonstone and kyanite
i know that i have never actually explained what has been happening over the last year that has been so difficult for me. and i can't really tell you now either. but what i can tell you is that i am missing somebody, somebody who was extremely close to me, in a way i could never explain.
surely you know of the phantom limb phenomena? where a person loses a limb and they can still feel it, an ache or an itch. it's a bit cliche', but that is how i am feeling about this person. something happens and i immediately want to tell her about it. i have a thought and i instantly think about what she would say in response. something reminds me of her and i find myself reaching for my phone to call her before remembering that i cannot call her anymore, that she is gone to me. she is no longer a part of my life. and i realize it over and over again and it hurts just as much every time.
this ring is about that. the moonstone, which is both there and not there, represents that phantom limb. that thing that is gone but not gone. and the kyanite is what remains, what is above the surface, what is real, what carries you through.
just as an amputee knows that that limb is never coming back, and it is still very real to them, i know that i can never again have the relationship with her that i once had. but i will never stop feeling it, and i will never stop loving her.
we have finally had some beautiful snow here.
in an attempt at cheering myself up, i went for a ski with glenn yesterday. (he just happened to have taken a personal day to ski and was delighted with all of the new snow.)
olive had a blast, even though the snow was deeper than she is tall.
seeing glenn skiing on up ahead of me into the snow with no track before him made me think of conor oberst's song at the bottom of everything... "into the caverns of tomorrow with just our flashlights and our love, we must plunge we must plunge we must plunge..." (i am so lucky to have him.) so i made this when i got home:
the plunge necklace
with fully faceted labradorite
incidentally, it is conor oberst's birthday today.
the three wishes ring
with faceted labradorite, ruby, and faceted moonstone
you know the story. the great, big, all powerful, genie appears to you after you rub the lamp, offering you three wishes, anything you want. so what would yours be? what would be the three things you would wish for in all the world? this ring is to represent those wishes, whatever they may be. it is to remind you of the three things you want most in the world, even if they are things you already have.
(i can't say for sure that that is a star ruby, but it sure looks like it here.)
and i guess the really important question is, what will you do about those three wishes if the genie doesn't show up?
i hope you all had a wonderful, love-filled valentine's day yesterday. (glenn took me on a surprise romantic overnight trip to ouray last weekend, heavenly.)
i am heading over to the etsy shop now to list these pieces.