Sunday, January 17, 2010

safety nets

so, as a blog writer, i made a decision to "keep things light" here. i vowed to make this only about my business, not so much my personal life. but the truth is, it is a very fine line between the two. my business IS very much a part of my personal life. it's all about balancing and meshing and making both things work. and, increasingly, my time in my studio is the perfect therapy for me when i am having a hard time. my troubles and challenges come through in my work, and i feel the need to share that with you. and, i have started to feel a bit deceptive. if i am only sharing with you, dear readers, the high times and happy things in my life, you are not getting a true and accurate picture of who i, kristi marcille-smith, a.k.a. silver sparrow designs, really am. if it is okay with you, i would like to remedy that. this blog has come to mean a lot to me. i look forward to posting and sharing, even though i have no idea who is out there, reading it. it is sort of like a public journal, something of an oxymoron.

i had a bit of a meltdown last night. (there, i said it. not so hard...) it really was pretty bad. one of those late at night, extremely lonely, what-is-my-purpose-in-the-world-and-what-is-the-meaning-of-life? kind of breakdowns. do you know what i am talking about? have you experienced this? and when it was sort of over, i found myself really thinking about the constants in my life. who do i know will be there? what is consistent? what can i count on? who is reliable and who is flaky? safety nets. who and what are they for you?

more and more, when i am feeling depressed, my time in my studio is my lifeline. i have been going through a VERY trying time with my "family of origin". (i've never really liked that term, but if i use it, you will know what i mean.) when i go out there, i am able to truly be who i am and to express myself, through my silver, in a way that is totally unique for me and that works. usually, but not always (because sometimes things don't go how i planned for them to and things melt and ideas turn out to not be so good, etc.) , i leave the studio feeling so much better, so much more in touch with what is so for me.

today was like that. i made this, the "safety net" ring.

the teardrop shaped rutilated quartz forms a perfect webbing for a safety net at the bottom
the base plate is made from 16 gauge silver, heavy. it's luscious

you see, i could have very easily just posted a photo of the ring, along with these photos (and video) from our sledding excursion yesterday. and you would just think everything was hunky-dory as usual. i feel so much better having been honest and sharing with you. please let me know your thoughts, either by commenting below, or by e-mailing ,

but now, after all that heaviness, here's a bit of lightness. we went sledding yesterday!

glenn had to go first a couple of times, to break a track, for safety purposes of course.

and here is the sound of hazel, and june, and myself, having a good laugh.

i hope you are having a lovely sunday. i look forward to our new relationship!

p.s. in the spirit of truth and honesty, i just sent this convo to a customer. i know, it is totally unprofessional. can you guess which necklace i am referring to?

hi there, ******~
i hope you do not feel like i am harassing you. i am SO sorry if you do. however, i just need to write to you. i have never done this before. the truth is, i really regret selling that necklace! it was one of those pieces that was made at a time in my life where i needed some therapy and the creating of it did it for me. when i decided to sell it, i was trying to prove to myself that i could un-attach myself from my work. the truth is, i didn't un-attach myself from that necklace. i so often find myself thinking about it. is she wearing it? does she love it? does it do for her what it did for me? does she REALLY appreciate it? you probably think i am completely insane (which, in some ways, i am). and, of course, if you really do love it and cherish it, i very much want you to keep it. but if there is any part of you that regrets purchasing it, or thinks maybe it's a bit too big, or something about it is just not right, please tell me! i would be happy to exchange it for another piece, or to refund your money, or whatever you would like. i feel so very weird sending this, but you seem like the kind of person who just might understand. i've always been a bit too honest... i look forward to your reply (in fact i will probably be obsessively checking to see if you have...) best,


susie said...

We all struggle, that may be our one common denominator. Families can be tough, you can't chose who you're related to. Here's to better days, and beauty created through angst. Wishing you the best.

p.s. I love all of the snow pictures, we haven't really had any snow in St. Louis this winter, and I wish we would.

littlecherryhill said...

You are so Not alone! I agree totally with susie. And the ring is adorable!

Silver Sparrow Designs said...

you guys are so sweet! thank you so much.

glenn and i are very close to going out in the yard naked and doing a snow dance because we actually haven't had any in a while. i guess we're a bit spoiled! i should be more grateful and remember that some folks don't have any snow...

Anonymous said...

I think the blogs I like most are those that share a rounded view of the writer's life--a little about work, a little about the great times, a little about the challenges. We all have 'em; I have had the exact kind of meltdown you describe.

You are too funny with that note to your buyer; I imagine I'd feel the same about certain pieces if I were an artist. I'm going to guess it's about your "rain must fall" necklace.

traci said...

I'm soo proud of you kris--you do amazing work and I think your pieces are even more beautiful because they are your lifeline and are products of all your personal sorrows and triumphs. That is really incredible. I love you!

Silver Sparrow Designs said...

well thank you, liz. i have to agree. i've never really been one to fake it, and i certainly don't see any reason to start now.

i know that other folks must feel the same way i do at times; they just must. and, yes, you are right. it was the rainfall necklace. she actually wrote back, saying she does cherish it and it has helped her through a difficult time. that has always been my dream for my jewelry. i am content about it now!

Silver Sparrow Designs said...

aaawwww, traci, i love you!

6512 and growing said...

honesty is such a good policy, in life, business, relationships.

you are doing beautiful work, of all different natures.

Love you,

Shannon said...

So sorry life has been difficult for you lately, but you have a gift and a beautiful family and friends here for you whenever you need them :-)Love you!

Poppy Q said...

Kristi, I had to look and check it wasn't my feather float necklace, which I must say does like living with me in New Zealand (and which I am wearing today).

I am having a meltdown patch at work, with not liking it and feeling like I am dragging myself up in the morning. We all have ups and downs, so you are definately not alone.

The personal touches are what makes your blog so sweet and honest. Ohh and the jewels, I love the new ring.

Julie Q
New Zealand

Stacie @ said...

I don't want to say that I enjoy reading your struggles, but I do like that you're "keeping it real". It's always nice to know that we're all the same.
And I found your letter to your customer sweet, always nice to know that pieces have gone to a loving home. ;-)

Anonymous said...

How great that piece resonated with your customer the way it did with you.

Silver Sparrow Designs said...

really, you guys are fabulous! why didn't i open up to you sooner??? but i don't just want this to be one-sided. can we make a pact that if you are having a difficult time you will come here? or e-mail me? maybe we can all be there for each other? or maybe that's silly...

anyway, thanks so much!

and, julie, that is so funny! i did truly love that juicy purple necklace, but it seem it was meant for you!

and p.s. i may have found a stone to make another "some rain must fall necklace"

and, i now have to make a new ring for the middle finger on my right hand because i have been loving wearing the "finger fleur. prehnite" and somebody just bought it... ;~( but really ;~) i can't keep them all, dangit!

Anonymous said...

Thank you :) you should look at this emo boy one on this blog: