i made myself a ring yesterday. it made me think of the reeltime travelers song "little bird of heaven".
pmc. i think i am in love. i have always been a very tactile person. as a kid, i was always a worry-stone-in-the-pocket sort of girl. often i would find washers or bolts that had a nice weight to them and i would carry those around too. and i will tell you a story that one of you, at some point, is going to use to use against me. in my high school silver-smithing class, for my casting project, i made a solid silver dancing bear, about 2 inches high. (that's right, i was a deadhead. even had dreadlocks and lived in my volkswagen van.) the thing was heavy. and i carried it around in my pocket everywhere i went, for a long time. when i lost it i was devastated. well, this ring is like that little dancing bear. the weight is fabulous, and i just know that i am never going to want to be without it. if it is not on my finger, it is going to be in my pocket. the little spot between the head and the tail is the perfect little rub-able worry stone.
the sweetest little bird, ready to fly. perched for flight. nervous, apprehensive, unsure of what awaits. but ready.
this little bird of heaven is going to be my touchstone throughout this process i am undertaking. whenever i am feeling too bogged down, too overwhelmed, feeling like i can't do it, i will rub on it and remind myself that i can. that i am. (i remember when i was giving birth to june, i looked at my midwife and said "i can't do this." and she said "kristi, you are doing it." that's what this bird will do for me now.
because it is so heavy, i made the band adjustable, so i can tighten it a bit once it gets past my knuckle, to keep it from flipping over to the side.
i realized recently that as i write these blog posts, usually late at night after everyone's in bed, i am kind of like my own little late night talk show host. i sit here, and i talk about whatever i'm feeling, whatever's going on for me. i have no idea who is out there listening. i have no idea what they think about what i have to say, unless my beloved "callers" leave comments. it's a fascinating little scenario, one that i never imagined myself in. but now i can't imagine it any other way. my blog posts have become more like journal entries, for anyone to see. but the feedback i receive form my callers, via convo or e-mail, or comment, tells me that you guys relate to what i am saying, and that my sharing is helping you. which is a really powerful thing. so thank you. again. thanks for listening in. thanks for hearing what i have to say, offering your support, and for sharing yourselves with me.