Friday, April 8, 2011

little bird of heaven right here in your hand

i made myself a ring yesterday. it made me think of the reeltime travelers song "little bird of heaven".

i let out from your back door,
kicked an old can fifty miles or more.
written right there on the side of the can,
little bird of heaven right here in your hand.

i looked up and I looked back,
walked a hundred miles on the railroad track.
alls I can tell from where i stand,
there's a little bird of heaven right here in my hand.

love, they tell me, is a fragile thing.
it's hard to fly on broken wings.
i lost my ticket to the promised land.
little bird of heaven right here in my hand.

so toss it up and pass it around.
pay no mind to what you're carryin' round.
keep it close, hold it while you can.
there's a little bird of heaven right here in your hand.

fallen hearts and fallen leaves,
starlings light on the broken trees.
i find we all need a place to land.
little bird of heaven right here in your hand.

pmc. i think i am in love. i have always been a very tactile person. as a kid, i was always a worry-stone-in-the-pocket sort of girl. often i would find washers or bolts that had a nice weight to them and i would carry those around too. and i will tell you a story that one of you, at some point, is going to use to use against me. in my high school silver-smithing class, for my casting project, i made a solid silver dancing bear, about 2 inches high. (that's right, i was a deadhead. even had dreadlocks and lived in my volkswagen van.) the thing was heavy. and i carried it around in my pocket everywhere i went, for a long time. when i lost it i was devastated. well, this ring is like that little dancing bear. the weight is fabulous, and i just know that i am never going to want to be without it. if it is not on my finger, it is going to be in my pocket. the little spot between the head and the tail is the perfect little rub-able worry stone.

the sweetest little bird, ready to fly. perched for flight. nervous, apprehensive, unsure of what awaits. but ready.

this little bird of heaven is going to be my touchstone throughout this process i am undertaking. whenever i am feeling too bogged down, too overwhelmed, feeling like i can't do it, i will rub on it and remind myself that i can. that i am. (i remember when i was giving birth to june, i looked at my midwife and said "i can't do this." and she said "kristi, you are doing it." that's what this bird will do for me now.

because it is so heavy, i made the band adjustable, so i can tighten it a bit once it gets past my knuckle, to keep it from flipping over to the side.

i realized recently that as i write these blog posts, usually late at night after everyone's in bed, i am kind of like my own little late night talk show host. i sit here, and i talk about whatever i'm feeling, whatever's going on for me. i have no idea who is out there listening. i have no idea what they think about what i have to say, unless my beloved "callers" leave comments. it's a fascinating little scenario, one that i never imagined myself in. but now i can't imagine it any other way. my blog posts have become more like journal entries, for anyone to see. but the feedback i receive form my callers, via convo or e-mail, or comment, tells me that you guys relate to what i am saying, and that my sharing is helping you. which is a really powerful thing. so thank you. again. thanks for listening in. thanks for hearing what i have to say, offering your support, and for sharing yourselves with me.


Metallo Bianco Jewelry said...

I love the ring and hope it provides a bit of comfort for you! I have a friend that makes glass beads and she made me a worry stone awhile back and I always have it on is amzazing how such small tokens can make us feel better! I wish I could have seen your little bear...and I totally have a picture in my head of you and dreads, living in a van.... :) Will be tuning in again to your late night show soon! LOL :)

susie said...

Such a beautiful reminder and bearer of comfort. I made myself a ring last fall and put a silver pebble on the back, I just love running my thumb over it when I'm thinking or anxious. I hope your bird soothes you in the same way.

I wish the PMC wasn't so expensive, I think I'd love the process of it. Maybe I'll looking into the bronze clay. Take care, wishing you a wonderful weekend.

p.s. Falling slowly is one of my favorites:)

Tracy said...

LOVE. IN Love. that is my favorite Martha Scanlan/RTT song. The song and the ring brought a little tear to my eye this morning. I also love the idea of the adjustable band since I have the same knuckle issue and rings always flip around on me.

Anonymous said...

That's just really cool. Who was it said there's no rainbow without the storm? Hang in there ... You're too beautiful to languish under stormclouds!

Melynda said...

I so enjoyed your visit today.
I feel very inspired- I'm going to take your helpful tips and go for it.